Saturday 26 March 2011

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY - MY FIRST WRITING LOVE

I know it sounds weird but I was glad you bawled me out. Do you know how annoying it is to have everyone walk on egg shells around me? I hate being treated as if I am some basket case and it’s so...so patronising. And then you arrived and I thought, finally, someone who doesn’t know about the ‘accident’ and probably wouldn’t care anyway.”
” Did I come across as so heartless?”
“Yes...no,” She shrugged her shoulders, “Thing is, I respected you for your honest treatment of me and then


They say you never get over your first love. I think this applies to our writing also. My first attempt at a novel, begun in the spring of 2004 and finished by Septemeber. It was a great summer that year. Greece won the Euro soccer 2004 turnament, Athens hosted a wonderful Olympic games, I discovered the wonderful talent of one singer/song-writer extraordinaire, Darren Hayes and I fell in love with my novel's hero - a one Mr. Max Jackson. Of course, my 170,000 word ms was unpolished, rife with first time author hideous mistakes and consequently did not find a home. Since then, I have completed five novels, four published and one on the submission trail but I keep coming back to Max. I want him back in my life. I want us to share that joyous, heady relationship we once had so....I a giving him a second chance. This time, after many failed attempts at ironing out the glitches in our 7 year relationship, I want to make it work. I will make it work. We share too much history to give up on him. I leave you with a small, raw excerpt from Class Act {working title.} Enjoy....

She ran; ran so hard the sound of her own breathing hammered against her skull. Her heart raced. A tight band clawed at her chest, the pain excruciating but she couldn’t stop. To do so would be to die. Low-hung branches scratched and whipped at her face. She wiped at her cheeks, feeling the warm stickiness, knowing it was blood; her blood. Feet tangled in hidden roots and she tumbled to her knees. Panic caused bile to rise into her dry, raw throat. “No,” she moaned. “I have to keep going.” Drawing on every last vestige of strength left in her battered body, she stumbled to her feet. He drew closer; she heard his heavy lop-sided gait as he crashed through the trees. His foul, enraged curses carried through the still of the night, searing her ears and chilling her to the core. “No, please, Daddy. Where are you?” Her dry sobs were futile, she knew. She was on her own. No one was coming to save her. He was closing in. His acrid stench filled her nostrils and she whimpered. Down she went again, knees connecting with a sharp stone, cutting into already too abused flesh. Her skin crawled as her pursuer curled a calloused hand around her neck. “Not so fast, you bitch.....”



Rebecca shot up in bed. Hand shaking, she found the bedside lamp switch and the room flooded with welcome, warm apricot. Whimpering his own fears, Wally shuffled on to her lap and licked the tears from her cheeks. “It’s ok, Wally,” she whispered, fondling her loyal friend’s silk ears. “He didn’t get me. He didn’t get me.” Clutching the dog to her damp, sweat soaked body, she wept into his coat. “You won’t tell, will you? No, I know you won’t. You understand. Best they believe what they want. I don’t have to remember, do I?” She turned off the light and she lay, mentally exhausted, back down against the pillows. She was safe. She only dreamt the dream once a night. For now, it was over. She closed her eyes.

She couldn’t run anymore. Her legs held no strength, her lungs empty of oxygen. Blood covered her hands, smeared her torn and dirty t-shirt. Head bent to her knees, she curled into a foetal ball. She cried again but this time her tears were for her father. He wasn’t coming. No one was.
“Rebecca.”
Head raised, she squinted through the threatening dark. A silhouette, tall, upright, stepped out from the shadows, whispers of ethereal moonlight dancing on his smooth, strong face. He held out a hand. “Rebecca, it’s ok. I have come for you. You’re safe now.” Warmth thawed her frozen soul. She believed him. She trusted him. His gentle tone held compassion; love. He would protect her – with his own life, if need be.
“Daddy...” Tentatively she reached for his out stretched fingers. They entwined with hers. His touch calmed her. Everything was going to be alright. “Daddy...hold me.”
Strong warm arms scooped her up and held her close in their protective folds. “Shh...Don’t cry, honey. I am here. I will always be here. No one will ever hurt you again. I would rather die than let that happen.”
Breathing in the warm scent of him, Rebecca closed her eyes and let his words lull her to sleep. Cool lips brushed against her cheek. Her eyes flew open. Raising her head, she stared into eyes the colour of sea-green.......


Rebecca woke with a start. Fingers twisted in sheet folds, she pulled it over her head. My god – what was wrong with her?
Check out more wonderful six sentence postings

http://corfu-author.tripod.com
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Viviane-Brentanos-Author-of-Womens-contemporary-Romantic-fiction/78109311746
http://myspace.com/chicholina
http://viviane-brentanos.blogspot.com
http://museithotpublishing.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=68&Itemid=82

17 comments:

  1. I can really feel the internal conflict of your heroine. Hope you can breathe life into this WIP. We all have a clunky old first attempt with a gem of an idea that still burns in our minds, but is buried amid muck.

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  2. I am working hard on it, Marsha. This time, I will get it out there.

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  3. I have one of those. It's been nagging at me to return to it too. Hope you revise yours and get it out there!

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  4. I hope you do revise this, and get your first book out there for all to enjoy!

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  5. Some characters just don't want to be put in a drawer and forgotten. Those are the ones worthfighting for

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  6. Great six! It's definitely worth finishing. I'd like to read more.

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  7. 170k, lol, my first published was originally 150k but I managed to bring it down to 100k after edits - but that joy when you're writing and don't worry about word counts and the story just pours out of you *sigh*
    Hope you can knock this one into shape so we can get to read the finished book

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  8. Yes, some characters we love, we always return to them. Great passage!

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  9. I'd buy it...if I had money. :) Great six sentence, Viv and I love how you added much more to your post.

    I'm still trying to find out how you and others write such long books. I'm lucky if I make it to 80,000, yet when I'm talking or writing emails, I can't shut up.

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  10. Ginger, the ironic thing is, my latest completed ms is just 5ok and I cannot see how to stretch it out. I don't know if I want to. Sometimes less is more

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  11. Viv,
    Sometimes the story ends at a given spot for a reason, and stretching it beyond or adding extraneous verbiage takes away from the message you want delivered. Since I purchased my Kindle, I look for shorter works that I can read in a waiting room, or finish before I fall asleep at night. :)

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  12. All good advice above. Enjoyed the six.

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  13. I really loved the six. You can feel the heroine. It works really well!

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  14. Best wishes the revision goes fast and smooth, from what you've shown here, I know it'll be awesome.

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  15. Great emotion here! Hope to read more!

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  16. I agree with Kathleen - great emotion!

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  17. Ah, revising. We love to hate it! Good luck! Lots to read in this post.

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