Saturday, 9 April 2011


It's Six Sentence Sunday time again and, once again, I am posting a six from my reworking of an old m.s. I have been tossing titles around in my head for this one. It is rather an angsty tale so I want to come up with the right one. Meanwhile, I leave you with my six, literally just hot off the press and another raw excerpt....

A silent laugh dragged at her throat. How ironic. After all she’d suffered, all she’d triumphed over, here she was, destroyed by a broken heart. Her hand closed around her father’s sleeping pills.Her hands shook as she tipped two of the white tablets into her hand.Swallowing them without water, she crept back to her room and locking out the world, she prayed for a deep, dreamless sleep.

Check out more wonderful sixes at this link

The surreal scene that met his eyes made dread crawl over his skin like a dose of shingles. Alerted by screams, a crowd had gathered, cheering and laughing in that cruel manner adopted the world over by blood-lust hungry teenagers. Yelling at them to move out of his way, he pushed through. Brendan Hanna lay on the ground, curled up in a foetal position, blood-streaked hands holding his head in an attempt to ward off Rebecca’s brutal attack. He cried; he actually cried in fear and Max didn’t blame him.
Screaming at him with Exorcist-style obscenities, Rebecca kicked out at him again and again, her hair in disarray, her features contorted with pure rage and hate.
“Rebecca!” His command didn’t penetrate the frenzied assault. “Rebecca, stop.” She left him no choice. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he lifted her off the ground and dragged her away. Turning in his arms, she lashed out at him, her eyes wide and crazed, screaming and screaming. Her torment broke his heart in two. “Rebecca.”
No response.
“Rebecca, stop!” In his arms, she grew less stiff. “It’s okay.” He lowered his tone to a bare whisper so only she could hear him. “It’s me. I’ve got you, sweetheart. It’s over. Rebecca, look at me.” Tentatively, he relaxed his tight grip. “Look at me.” Hands on her face, he tilted her face up, forcing her to focus and look into his eyes. “Forget about everything else. I just want you to concentrate on me. That’s it. Take a deep breath.” He coaxed her down from the near-hyperventilation, thumb stroking her chin.”
“Oh my, God, what the hell happened, here.” Tom materialised at his side whilst Fiona rushed to Brendon’s aid. The boy remained in a ball, whimpering like a frightened child. “Get back, you morbid bunch of idiots. Show’s over. Will, help me get him to my car. We can get him to a hospital quicker. God, what a bloody mess. What the hell did she do to him?”
Max didn’t know and he didn’t care; he focused all his attention on the near-catatonic girl in his arms. Whatever punishment she’d inflicted on Brendon, intuition told him the boy deserved it. “Here.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. “Go and wait in my car.” Rebecca didn’t move. She swayed against him and for one terrifying moment he thought he was losing her. “Rebecca, Go! For once in your life do as you’re bloody told.” His feigned anger jolted her out of her trance. For a split second, she looked at him as if she hated him but she took the keys and, head held high, she walked to his car.
“What’s going on, Max?” Will looked dazed, as they all did. “I’ve never seen anything like it. She an animal.”



  1. Wow, you six sentences were great, but your excerpt held me spellbound. I was disappointed there wasn't more. Such a powerful scene. I want to know what happened and why.

  2. Yes, what Roseanne said. What a fabulous excerpt! Great six too by the way. :)

  3. Oh no, I hope she won't die! Very dramatic, great six!

  4. Such regret in six sentences. Well done.

  5. Oh, please let her live and see that life is worthwhile!

  6. incredibly emotional scene, loved it

  7. Very emotional six - I felt her sorrow.

  8. Suspenseful six! That's a serious cliffhanger with the pills!

  9. Those six are so totally intense. Wonderful.

  10. Great Six!

    The excerpt was good, too! Thanks for sharing.

    All my best,
    Allure Van Sanz